i rode an uber home today. for the past few occasions—really, just two—i’ve gotten great drivers. something about them and their demeanor seems to simply breathe hope and a love for life. the first of these two was fascinated by everything he saw. the flowers, their colors, the trees, the landscape—it appeared to me that he could see the beauty in everything. everything was beautifully fascinating to him. he spoke in a gentle way and drove cautiously. he didn’t appear to be rushing at any given moment. he was merely going, peacefully—and we even got there early.
the second driver went through the regular motions of greeting and being polite. at the first stoplight, he mentions he has another ride 2 minutes away from my destination. and then, he starts telling me about a few days ago, when he got multiple rides 2 minutes away from one another, back-to-back. For the fifth iteration, he decided he needed a break, and later accepted a ride 7 minutes away. he retold the story of the twos to the new passenger, who then started talking about angel numerology. shortly after—i believe the following day—he got a passenger 2 minutes away, by the name of angel.
he retold a few other stories of such kinds of incidents or coincidences—a couple running late to an airport, a pack of cigarettes and the son he hasn’t seen in forever—all happy, little, insignificant accidents that made him look up at the world in wonder, choosing to admire and marvel at the world around him. and then I’ve also thought, well, maybe that’s just a choice of ignorance… but maybe it isn’t. i look around me and choose to focus on the nicer, beautiful parts and exalt them. i choose to admire. i choose to find hope so that I can keep going because, no matter how much i deny it, and how much i daydream about it, the alternative is simply terrifying. it’s not about death, or significance, or transcendence... it’s about, perhaps, needing to love something. and if that can’t be me, then maybe i can cling to that hope. like a child to a blanket, just to feel that it’s less daunting. and as cowardly as it sounds, i keep going with just a blanket as a shield.